why does sauron need to bathe you ask? to get himself all clean of the ash falling on his insanely huge eye I say.
Sauron doesn't want an eye infection now does he? after all he is an eye. An insanely huge eye at that too.
Lets forget about Aragorn and his concubines for a while shall we? let them enjoy their petty adventures. why let go of their petty adventure you ask? I SAY! is it everyday that you get to see Sauron in his bathtub and still be alive to talk about it? Nay! I say. Nay!
On with the story of Sauron then!
coming straight from the eye of the offending goat, Billy........
Sauron enters his pink bathroom and there before him lies his precious bathtub filled with orc milk.
Surrounding it are two Oliphaunts and three goats. Yes! Billy is our inside goat!
Sauron orders his orc slave to play his favorite record.
the sweet music of 'She Bop by Cindy Lauper' fills the air.
It is a song about female masturbation.
YES! Billy the goat verifies that Sauron is not MALE but in fact He or from hereon may i say SHE is a WOMAN!
Sauron enters his bathtub and the goats Baa their Baaing tunes and the Oliphaunts spray orc milk on Sauron.
Billy and the goats had to leave the bathroom after Sauron had had her spray and it was now time for other things.
Things that Billy and his goats were not supposed to see. secret things!
And that my non-existant readers is a day in Sauron's bathtub.
We would also like to bring you this sad but tasty bit of news.
Billy expired three hours earlier and is now being digested in the stomachs of Gimli, Pippin and Merry.
Pippin Took only saw a goat in front of him when he saw Billy and failed to see the brave
Billy was stewed with the best of herbs and vegetables and served on platters of Silver.
we hope that his soul will digest in peace.
